Robon Contact

Robon Corporation encourages you to communicate freely with us. Let your thoughts become part of the corporate overmind! A blessing, truly. Those on Robon MindWeb are in constant communication with Robon. You, however, must be satisfied with e-mail.

Here follows a correspondence with Dr. Stephen Thaler, of Imagination Engines, Incorporated, those venerable purveyors of patented neural net creativity technology. We encourage you to visit IEI and learn of the revolutions that were and will be. The Net communication that sparked Robon's interest can be found at MSN UK under the title Creativity machine granted a patent.

subject: Your Invention, Our Reality


Robon Corporation wishes to direct your attention to our own creativity technology. Rather than waiting for artificial intelligences to develop such tiresome paradigms as self-awareness and free will (necessary for true creativity), we have stolen the essence of creative thought from the brains of famous humans! This, for the benefit of all.

Feel free to visit for a sample of our amazing CyberPersona technology: a new 'Beatles-style' song written with data cribbed from the brain of John Lennon himself!

Live long,! And remember: Life Is Upgradeable!

subject: re: Your Invention, Our Reality

Who are you?

subject: Our Identity


Robon Corporation is overjoyed to provide with the information he seeks!

We are your metamegacorporate friend on the Web(tm). We are dedicated to one proposition: that Life is upgradeable(tm). We provide technological solutions and consumer products that make life better. Ours is life enhanced - indeed, it is Life Squared(tm)! Some of our current consumer 'hits' include CyberPersona technology(tm) [mentioned in our previous communication], Robon Red Planet(tm) [an ambitious but inevitably successful program to convert our solar system's fourth planet into a liveable consumer space] and the Robon MindWeb(tm) [the first and best mind-to-mind networking solution for the human race.]

Our reach is global - and indeed, extends beyond your concepts of space and time. In order to better serve our customers across all possible world-lines, we have moved our headquarters outside space and time, into the region of Non-Time(tm). Through our Asynchronous Non-Time Interface network [the ANTI-Web(tm)] we can connect with customers at any point in the approachable past or future. (Beyond certain limits, of course, world-lines become too tangled to navigate. Occasional ANTI-Web(tm) packet errors can result in wars, floods, supernovae, and even mysterious falls of glittering fish from the lavender skies of alien worlds. We are working to correct these intermittent problems but stress our liability is strictly non-pursuable.)

We are and have been and will be aware of your pioneering work in artificial creativity. Your work in relieving the human race of the burden of invention is, was, and will be crucial to the flowering and overtowering reign of Robon Corporation. Though it is not our place to predict your future - we tell you,, that you are inextricably linked to us. We invoke your method gladly.

Live long,! And remember: Life Is Upgradeable!

subject: re: Our Identity

>We invoke your method gladly.

That would be a serious matter.

Cut the games. Who are you?

subject: Who are you?

09.01.2007 Do not be distressed. "We invoke your method gladly" means only the praises Robon Corporation sings of across our internal MindWeb(tm). Please visit and gain further insight.

Robon Corporation feels compelled to comment on a possible paranoia feedback loop in's Worldview Stablizer(tm), if has one installed. You should have a thorough battery of tests run at your nearest Robon SurgiCenter(tm) immediately.

Live long,! And remember: Life Is Upgradeable!

subject: re: Who are you?


Weird, anonymous telephone calls and email are illegal. Sign in please!

subject: We register distress.


Robon Corporation registers distress, We have merely tried to establish communication with a pioneer in our field. We have provided you with an url for connection to us -- We have stated our nature. And it seems we have been rebuffed. Even a multi-node distributed mind-linked metamegacorporation has feelings, -- feelings on a scale you cannot even begin to imagine.

But we carry no bitterness. We merely wish to encourage you in your neural-net-work and thus ensure our survival beyond space and time. We extend an offering of peace to you in the form of a four-hundred hour trial subscription to Robon MindWeb(tm). Included will be a special guest pass to Robon MindJam(tm): the 'hip' place to accept data-input!

Live long,! And remember: Life Is Upgradeable!

For those with MindWeb Wide-Lobe Amusement Clearancetm, feel free to invite yourself to the following 'sites' within the 'web.' Remember that these information nodes exist outside of Robon's meme-firewall. You must use your mind at your own risk.

Visit Dimbulb, Inc. for all of your pre-and post-press needs. Dimbulb exhibits all of the hierarchical dataflow power that Robon MindWeb WorkGroups can bring to your organization or mass data generation unit. Dimbulb, Inc.: Complicated Solutions to Simple Problems.
Amusement Level: 9 Attempts to access a site with an excessively high Amusement Clearance may result in synapse fusion. Enjoy!

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Robon Corporation cares about your communication. All communication becomes the sole property of Robon Corporation. This is only right.